Malta…

After weeks and months of gigging, it was time for a bit of a rest. Myself and Sarah fecked off to Malta last week for a well earned spell of lying at the pool drinking cocktails and listening to podcasts, broken up intermittently with stretches of open-top bus tours visiting picturesque villages and various , well, rocks. Refreshed, relaxed and reinvigorated,   it was time to bid this Island and her people a fond farewell .

And then Iceland went and fucked it all up.

So ok, we got goosed by the volcano, like many thousands across Europe. But as far as goosings go, this one wasn’t the worst I’ve ever gotten; ok, I miss a few more holiday days from work that I was saving for later in the year, but on the plus side we still had our hotel room (which is cheap, AND insured) so at least we weren’t camping in the airport.

Building a wee fort looks like it would have been fun, though.

So what to report from Malta comedy wise? Did I sneak a  gig anywhere? I’m afraid not. Dave O’Gorman sent me a link for what appears to be Malta’s only comedy club, and it had no gigs on in the time I was here (but that could change, depending how long this volcano keeps blowing).

For your choice of facial expression in your photo, you can have either "Gormless" or "Manic"

If I had booked a gig or gotten an open spot in some ghastly karaoke bar (which I would never, EVER do), I wondered what material I could have used… Probably banged out the nightclub and carsex routines, a  few  other gags… Not the Tayto routine, of course. That gag doesn’t travel outside the island of Ireland, right? That’s what I would have thought, too. That is, of course, until I seen a delivery van driving down the road . And on the back door, was this guy.

Yep. That was my reaction, too.

That guy there is Maltese Mr. Tayto, or as they call him, Mr. Riley. He’s got his own range of crisps and snacks on the island. Click the link to see all the Mr. Riley goodness;

http://www.rimus.com.mt/rimus%20riley%20products/snacks.html

Reading the website tells us that Rimus Riley began importing snack foods in the seventies, starting with Bacon Snacks… FROM IRELAND. Looks like someone went along in the container, settled down in Malta, and bought himself a dapper Bowler hat. Although whats with the umbrella? Surely our Mr. Tayto should have that back home, not the guy living in the Mediterranean.

Tell me this shit is a coincidence.

The killing thing is, Maltese Mr Riley looks more like a Northern Mr.  Tayto that the ACTUAL Northern Mr. Tayto.

"Where's my fuckin' umbrella?"

So there you go folks; with two weeks in a different country  to do nothing but observe the nature of people abroad and maybe mine some new  material out of it, and I turn out the same schtick I’ve been peddling for two years. Proof if proof were needed that I’m some sort of comedy genius, utterly wasting my time, or that I’ve just been out in the sun for FAR too long.

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  1. hi wats your myspace page

    • Doognopay
    • May 29th, 2010

    Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

    Thumbs up, and keep it going!

    Cheers
    Christian, iwspo.net

  1. May 17th, 2010
  2. May 18th, 2010

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